The Pic-Nic Store…

Me:  I cannot believe we weren’t invited to any picnics.

S:  Well, you don’t like being around people.  The last picnic we were invited to, you didn’t want to go.

Me:  But I went anyway.

S:  But you threw a tantrum on the way.

Me:  Yes, but I did go.  Besides, it’s only a tantrum if one is 4 years old.  If one is 30, it’s a protest.

S:  Whatever.  [under her breath] Tantrum.

Me:  Seriously, someone should have invited us over for a hot dog and some potato salad.  What’s so damned difficult about that?

S:  Um, you have to hang out with people generally so that they will then invite you over for specific events.

Me:  Picnics don’t count.  I would agree that if I were to be invited over for a dinner party, I should probably be regularly hanging out with the inviters.  You know, since they have to prepare a meal and host me for an evening around their dining room table.  More talking involved there which would be eased if we were more familiar.  But a picnic?  Seriously, they are the perfect events for inviting people you don’t usually hang out with.  Some hot dogs, some potato salad, a little chit-chat.  That’s easy.  And there would be more people around to spread the chit-chat.

S:  I could start making more friends at work…  Then we might get invited to parties.

Me:  Not parties.  Picnics.  Hot dogs and potato salad.  Maybe chicken.  And pasta salad.  Perhaps a Texas Sheet Cake for dessert.  Anyway, you already have friends from work and not one of them invited us to a picnic for today.  Screw ’em.

S:  We could have thrown a picnic and invited people over for hot dogs and potato salad…

Me:  We are currently grill-less.  And besides, us throwing a picnic is not the point.  I want a hot dog and some potato salad and someone should have invited us over for a picnic.

Later on, I was still fixated…

Me:  I want picnic food.

S:  We can go get some.  We can get some chicken at KFC and then go to the grocery store for some potato and pasta salads…

Me:  To much work.  I don’t want to have to drive around to collect my picnic foods.  Somebody should have invited us over for a picnic.

S:  Let it go, Dude, let it go.  Do you want to go get something to eat?

Me:  There should be a store…  You know, called The Pic-Nic store, where they have the chicken, hot dogs, potato and pasta salads and maybe some lunch meats all in one place.  You know, for people like us.

S:  You mean, a deli?

Me:  Um, no.  The Pic-Nic Store.  It’s totally different.

S:  Right…  So, what do you want for dinner?

Me:  Pizza.


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