The sounds of silence…

This morning I got up and came downstairs.  First thing I did was put on a pot of coffee.  I was going to eat some cereal but a quick sniff of the milk changed those plans.  Bastards.  The date on the milk is May 9th.  So I ate a Hostess cupcake instead. Healthy goodness.  I went into the living room and turned on the television.  Our television has some fancy TV Guide grid screen that comes up as soon as it is turned on.  The screen is over whatever the last channel on was.  The screen is supposed to be helpful, but it is not.  Our remote control that came with the tv has long since been replaced by a universal remote.  The original remote had a button on it that would make the grid go away.  Univerasal remote does not.

When you turn the tv on, the grid remains on the screen for what seems like ten minutes but is probably only two.  If you touch any button on the remote during the time that the grid is on the screen, you will be punished by having the grid even longer.  Also, the function that you wanted to use won’t work, like changing the channel or turning down the volume.  Turning on the television is a hateful process.  Hopefully soon I will be able to convince S to let me buy a 42″ lcd television and then I can do away with this grid madness.

Anyway, this morning the tv was set to CBS because we had been watching Numbers last night before going to bed.  If you aren’t watching Numbers, you do not know what you are missing.  This morning when I turned the tv on, there was some cartoon running on CBS.  And the tv volume was at old people level – loud.  I couldn’t turn it down or change the channel or else I would be cursed with the longer grid time.  So I walked out of the room and went about some morning chores.

About ten minutes later my head was throbbing and my ears were hurting and I had this feeling  that maybe I wanted to murder people or put a sledgehammer through something.  I walked back into the living room and the feeling got worse.  Then I saw that he grid was gone.  But the cartoon on the tv was annoying the crap out of me and it was so looud.  I was able to resist the urge to toss the tv out of the window and lowered the volume instead.  That helped, but not completely.  I then turned the channel to the new Fox Business News channel.  Ahhhhhh….. Yes……  Peace and serenity.

I hate cartoons.  I really, really hate them.  And it’s not like I just don’t want to watch them, I hate them.  I find them overstimulating.  Some of the ones on PBS aren’t too bad, they use softer tones and colors.  I worry that if we ever have children that they are going to want to watch cartoons.  Most children do.  I didn’t, but most do.


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