Rough days…

This is the first time I have been home since last Wednesday.  It is good to be home but it was difficult to leave my mother’s side.  She is going to be fine, of course, but I still worry.

Have any of you ever been to Oglebay Park in Wheeling, West Virginia?  If you haven’t you really must get yourself there sometime soon.  I believe it is one of the most beautiful places in the world.  My grandmother worked at the park for many years in the garden center.  She loved Oglebay.  Because we have a large family and my grandmother had so many friends, we ended up getting a chalet for the weekend, just so that we could host everyone for the wake.  My grandmother would have loved it.  I’ll probably post some pictures later.

I’m really glad that we only went with one day of viewing at the funeral home.  Receiving all of the friends and family from 2 to 4 and then again from 6 to 8 was so hard.  It was so sad too.  I held up well through most of it but then someone would say something wonderful about her and I would get weepy.  My brother M couldn’t go into the viewing room because he was so torn up.  I had no idea that he would react as he did over her death.  He wasn’t even abe to sit with the family during the funeral service.  He just stayed at the back of the church and bawled like a baby.  He couldn’t have taken two days of viewings.  My little nieces only came for the evening viewing and they had a hard time.  My mother is a social butterfly, but by the end of the second viewing even she was all talked out.

I have always known that everyone loved my grandmother.  But I don’t think I was able to comprehend just how much until this past weekend.  Seeing all of those people and hearing about their love for her helped me get through my eulogy, the funeral and the burial without a tear.  It was a celebration.

There is so much to do now.  My grandmother had so many things and there were people that she wanted to give things to but just never got around to doing it while she was living.  We have to sort through all of those things and that is going to take some time.  And there is some family drama with my oldest brother DK and how much he hates my mother and wants to take everything out of her hands because he believes she is unfit, which she is not.  His daughter, my niece, got to go through some of my grandmother’s things yesterday and she kept asking, “How much is this worth?”  It pissed my mother off and it really got to me.  She wasn’t interested in sentiment, just value.  I don’t know how she can so unknowing about the value of sentiment.

I think we are going to face even more rough days ahead.


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