The family name…

My grandmother, my mother and I all have the same name.  We each have a different middle name, but our first names are the same.  Since I am not so much into putting my name out all over the internet, lets just pretend the name is Margaret and we all go by the nickname, Meg.  The actual name is an old person’s name, not something someone born after 1950 would/should be named.  Margaret seems to fit, although I had a best friend when I was little whose name was Margaret, so it’s not just an old person’s name.

Anyway, I grew up in a house with my grandmother and mother.  All three of us with the same name.  When the phone was answered, the person on the other end innocently asked to speak with “Meg” and confusion would ensue.  Which Meg, one of us would ask.  “I’m not sure,” the person would say, “the mom, I guess.”  “Which mom,” I would ask because there were two motherly choices.  It wasn’t as hard to deal with in person though because my grandmother was called either “Grandmother” or “Aunt Meg” by family.  My mother was just “Meg” and I was always “Little Meg“.  Seriously, to this day I am called or referred to as “Little Meg”.

On Tuesday evening my mother asked me to call our cousin Beth who is my grandmother’s niece.  They have a somewhat close relationship and Beth should be made aware that she is in the hospital.  My mother and Beth are in the midst of a feud and haven’t spoken to one another since last July, so she didn’t want to have to make the phone call.  Trying to make my mother’s life a little bit easier, I offered to make the call, which is a big deal as I hate to use the telephone.  It wasn’t until I was about to dial the phone number that I realized how much bigger of a deal it was.

I rehearsed in my head what I was going to say, like I always do before making a phone call.  But I hit a snag right at the start.  “Hello Beth, this is…”  Crap.  I couldn’t just say “this is Meg” because she would assume I am my mother because I’ve never called her before and now that I am an adult, I can’t use rely on a little kid voice identifying me as “Little Meg”.  So I tried out, “Hi Beth, this is Little Meg…”  No way.  In a couple of days I am going to be 35 damn years old.  I am not Little Meg and saying it out loud sounded ridiculous.  Hell, typing it out these last few paragraphs has been ridiculous.

I finally decided to go with “Hi Beth, this is Meg,” which would mean we would have an exchange wherein I would have to explain that I was not my mother.  Great.  Good plan.  But when I finally dialed the number, I got Beth’s answering machine.  That changed everything.  There would be no exchange of information leading to my identification; I was going to have to identify myself.

“Hi Beth, this is Meg.  Uh, the um, third one.  Just wanted to let you know that Grandmother is in the…”

I’m fairly certain I sounded like an idiot.  And I didn’t leave my phone number in the message.  It’s not that I forgot, it’s that I am an unfriendly person.  I was calling to give out information and not to chat.  I did not want a return phone call.  G_d, I am pretty awful.  So I have been fixating on how I sounded like an idiot and how I sounded like a rude idiot, to boot.


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